no matter what i do, i can never be happy. i work hard, i love hard, i give my all,but it doesn't matter. i put every ounce of myself into being helpful, kind, smiling. i work hard to give my boyfriend all he needs. support yes, a welcoming home yes, sex whenever he wants. I make money, plenty of it, to support myself and my man. yet i am always lacking somehow... i work hard at my job, i help people everyday, but its never enough, there is always more pain, more need, and no matter how hard i try i can never help all the people who are suffering. is life just endless toil until death with no success, then a judgemental god throwing you away to burn. tonight that's what i see. work. emptiness.pain.death. more pain. what. is. the. point.